Self-Awareness and Surprise

I guess I don't surprise myself. I've been sorting through the mental archives for fifteen minutes, but nothing stands out. I wish I had for the sake of storytelling and to prove to myself that I'm not risk-averse. But I have stories to tell and I've taken (and continue to take) risks–not life-altering/threatening risks, but something between that and "the safe choice."

A surprise is something unexpected and the fact is I expect a lot from myself and my choices. Maybe too much. So, I'm more familiar with the feeling of disappointment than surprise. Even if I went way out of my comfort zone, I'd still expect some amount success, however that would be defined.  When you know you can–you're smart, hard-working, and adaptable–it's not surprising when you do, but it's disappointing when you don't. And the better you know yourself the less likely you are to do, try, or be something that's beyond the expected.